In my career thus far, I’ve been in mostly start-up environments that lack a formally structured mentor-mentee program, but I’ve still had the opportunity to discover how important it is for growth. My career has exploded when I’ve had the opportunity to work with a mentor and, conversely, grown stagnant when I’ve simply worked for a boss.
This article by Rachel Ensign of the Wall Street Journal takes the point of view of someone looking to climb the corporate ladder, seeking out a mentor. You and I are more somewhere in the middle; many of us have direct reports or are managing teams, but are still in the early stages of careers.
I’ll pose these questions as conversation starters:
- How many of you have a mentor rather than a boss (it’s possible to have both)?
- How did you find/develop that relationship?
- How many of you take an active role in being a mentor to others, past the required exercises of formal reviews?
Any time I interview for a job, “Who would serve as my mentor?” is one of my questions. The worst feeling in a job is just doing the work and feeling no professional progress with no one to talk to about changing the situation (or that person not listening).
A link to the original article: “http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303404704577309750220810364“
Hi Matt,
I enjoyed this article, thank you for sharing. And that you ask the question “Who would serve as my mentor?” in the interview is a great idea; I imagine this could tell you quite a bit about work culture and management style.
I currently have a boss; they are not a mentor. I am actually in the process of trying to influence their management style, which has emphasized negative reinforcement, particularly on-the-spot negative comments that diminish teamwork and morale. I am proposing that they submit a weekly email to me, noting two areas of improvement and two things that I did well. This may sound a bit simplistic, but we need to reroute things. I am hoping that this mechanism will encourage the supervisor to distance themselves from immediate feelings of anger, to a more reflective analysis of how the issue/error can be avoided in the future. I would be primarily responsible for brainstorming solutions, but they would also be responsible for fully understanding the context of the error. I would be fully accountable for my role in preventing the error from occurring in the future.
This example is not about developing a mentor relationship, but it is about reshaping significant work relationships. While in the end you may still be bereft of a mentor, you can at least garner greater engagement from a supervisor.
Matt,
Great article, most of us should definitely consider being both a mentor to others and finding a mentor. As far as being both a mentor and a boss, it is a difficult role to combine. While I definitely try to be a mentor to my team, I recommend they find a mentor outside our team as well.
There are a few reasons why it is difficult for managers to be mentors to their direct reports. First, we have to deliver feedback (both positive and negative), and a lot of our mentoring recommendations or suggestions will be cast in that light. And most importantly, it is simply more difficult for us to be impartial – for example, if there is a big project coming up, it would be difficult for us to recommend to our star team member to leave the team to pursue a better opportunity.
First, to answer your questions:
– It certainly is possible to have a mentor/boss relationship, however, it’s important to know that they don’t come hand-in-hand. I have had a number of bosses who were simply just that, bosses. I have noticed that the bosses that have a genuine interest in the development of their employees are the ones that almost naturally take on a mentor role.
– In terms of bosses becoming mentors, it really developed from being open and honest with them, and vice versa.
– I tend to take on the mentor role when it comes to new hires with the company. This is a perfect opportunity to help them connect with the other employees and the culture of the company.
I would also highlight two more things:
1) Informal mentoring seem to have more impact and last a lot longer than formal mentoring.
2) You should look for a breadth of mentors (e.g. outside of your department).
Here’s a few more tips that I think are helpful, particularly defining your goals and expectations: http://www.theladders.com/career-advice/10-tips-getting-most-from-mentor
Matt, thanks for posting. I think this is an interesting question and one I’ve recently grappled with. I wholeheartedly agree that a boss can also serve as a mentor, and mine has for the last 3 years. However, the question I am now facing is how to transition away from that mentor relationship as I start to realize that some of my professional goals are only achieved by “competing” with him directly for responsibility. I’ve actually started to feel that having my boss also serve as a mentor may have been a bad idea, as now he is in a position to hold me back or withhold opportunities rather than help me.
All that to say, I agree with some of the other comments about trusting your boss as a mentor but also forming an informal relationship with someone outside of your department or team who can really support you without bias.
Hi Katie,
But, if your boss had never been a mentor, and had just been a boss, do you think that would make it easier to compete with them now?
thanks,
Marjorie
Thanks for posting this Matt it was very interesting. My boss was/is also my mentor although he recently retired (and thus is no longer my boss).
I definitely understand Katie’s point though. While I never had to compete with my boss for responsibility or worry that he might not have my best interests at heart, I did reach a point where I shifted the type of advice that I went to him for. As I became more in tune with the political environment at my workplace, I had to learn that my judgement of a situation could in some cases be better than his. In the past I would default to his suggestions in all cases. When iIstarted making that change, I was worried that he would view that as me challenging him but on the contrary he was happy to see that I was developing my own skills in those areas.
With my own team, I don’t necessarily aim to be each person’s mentor. I do try to help them find resources and areas of growth in the company and outside. If they want to come to me for general career advice I’m happy to help but I also try to recommend other mentors in the company if I don’t have expertise in their particular area of interest. In mentoring I really struggle with the compulsion to tell my reports exactly what I think they should do and how I think they should do it. That is my nature, but I don’t think it is particularly helpful in a mentor. I have to constantly remember to ‘coach’ them in the general ideas or perspectives they might want to think about and encourage them to come up with tasks themselves. It doesn’t come naturally for me though.
Hi Amy,
I have had a similar experience where my boss appreciated it when I started to have my own sense of how to navigate something, and suggestions for what routes we would take. While each person (and hence each boss can be different), this sort of illustration can bring home just how important it is to learn what kind of manager your boss is, and to be able to manage ‘up.’ My boss is actually a lot more comfortable when I steer, because it takes decision-making stress and responsibility off of his shoulders.
I don’t have a mentor now, but I am trying to cultivate one. I am not sure how to approach someone with that kind of request? Or perhaps you don’t have to make such a formal request at all? Perhaps you can just keep going to that person for conversation and insight.
best,
Marjorie
Katie, I didn’t think of that aspect when I wrote it, but completely agree. I’m in a spot now where my mentor has been developing slowly, passed over while we hired for VPs externally. My next move, if it were best for me, would put me on her level or leap-frog her. I’m thinking that I need a lateral move to a different department (this might not be best for everyone, but I would welcome a change to what I do). In the end, feelings be damned — if it’s time for me to advance and not time for her I hope she’d come around after I take a new position.