I’ve recently been listening to Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. This classic book, published originally in 1936, tops many top 10 lists of most influential business books ever published. Since it is so frequently included in such lists, I figured there might be a few things to learn from Carnegie’s words.
The first section of the books covers a few basic concepts of handling people. As a manager I am always interested in ways that I can more effectively motivate my team and give them feedback. Carnegie mentions three fundamentals of handling people.
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want
The basics of these idea are that it is easy to criticize, condemn and complain but doing so won’t gain you the respect of your team mates or direct reports and certainly doesn’t help you motivate them to continue to improve. Instead, Carnegie suggests approaching team mates with an open mind and a genuine level of respect for their decision making process.
Additionally, Carnegie suggests making a concerted effort to personally acknowledge the ways that your team mates contribute positively to the team and the company as a whole. When your direct reports feel that you respect them and that you see and acknowledge the ways they are positively contributing, it is much easier to offer suggestions for continued growth and improvement.
Personally I’ve found this advice to be very helpful as I work with my team. I noticed that I wasn’t always making sure to stop and acknowledge my team for their successes, both big and small. I now make a point to voice my appreciation for what they’re doing in person. I also make sure that I share successes our team has accomplished with the rest of the company as well as sharing individual team member’s successes. I’ve found that while my team does gain fulfillment from our group successes, it goes a long way for me to acknowledge their individual contributions as well.
Great article, Amy. It can be so easy to forget to acknowledge your team’s contributions, especially if they consistently perform at a high level. It’s sad to admit, but I sometimes forget how difficult my team’s job is when they make it look “easy”!
But it really doesn’t take much to correct it. A simple thank you or shout-out can really make a person’s day. For most of my team, they just want to feel like their work is recognized and appreciated. I think that’s what most of us want!
Hi Amy,
I have had a slightly different experience in managing people/teams in that the people/teams I manage are highly transitory. I manage our short-term (3-12 month) consultants, visiting scholars, interns and graduate assistants. Although this kind of arrangement has its own challenges (you train them and then they leave, and you start afresh), it has also allowed me to experiment with different management techniques.
I have found that, generally, the more positive feedback I provide–the more often, more specific praise I give, the more my team wants to contribute to our shared goals. I also want to point out that you while you mention the importance of recognizing your team for their contributions, it is also important to be as specific as you can in what they did right. This provides two benefits– 1) they feel good about their work 2) they better understand what is the rewarded behavior.
I think the on boarding process of bringing new people onto a team can also work to your benefit. When I orient new support staff I let them know that 1) I am very blunt (I ranked as the most blunt that you can be on the Birkman test) and 2) I will follow their preferences for individual feedback or group feedback.
The second detail has helped me to establish an early rapport with my direct reports, and I have found they really appreciate this consideration. Of course, I prefer to give group feedback because then everyone learns from everyone else’s successes and failings. But that you demonstrate the respect and tact to work with people in a way that accommodates their comfort level is something that people respect and appreciate. You give them their dignity.
A couple thoughts from my experiences, I hope they are helpful.
best,
Marjorie
Hi Amy,
How to Win Friends and Influence People is a terrific book for anyone in management and also aspiring to management. Carnegie’s lessons, like the ones you described above, are really applicable not only to business but also to personal relationships.
Not to get too personal, but I had the chance a few years ago to go through some things that my grandmother had after she passed away. Carnegie’s book was one of the mementos I took away and I’m so glad I did. Since reading it, it has been one of my favorite books and is a timeless piece that I’ll pass down to future generations. Carnegie’s advice is spot-on and can be applied at work and at home.
One of my favorite bits of wisdom is his chapter on making great first impressions and engaging in conversation to help build friendships. He has a great saying at the beginning of the book that I’ve always enjoyed too: “if you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive”. That’s great, simple advice!
Thanks for the reminder of this book, I’ll have to dust my copy off sometime soon.