Stanford’s Ed Batista has written extensively on giving feedback, but this article examines the dynamics of receiving feedback which may be even more important. He even takes time to dive into the body’s natural biological response to a perceived threat, and offers solutions on how to overcome that uncomfortable reaction.
One point that I believe is important to many of us in business school is the discussion of the “status” dynamic in receiving feedback. Batista writes, “And when feedback comes from a peer or subordinate, you may interpret their behaviors as a temporary assumption of a higher status role.” This is unfounded, and should be, according to Batista, interpreted as an attempt to help you improve regardless of the giver’s position or method in which they deliver the feedback.
Whether we’re personally receiving feedback or attempting to manage up through giving feedback, we should remember that the ultimate goal is professional development and most likely not an attack on a person. If feedback is not actually threatening, then we why do we continue to fear it?
I think we fear feedback because many of us have been conditioned for it. I remember one of my college professors used to publicly berate students when they screwed up (often using several colorful metaphors) because we “had to get used to it”. Well, it certainly toughened me up. Granted, that same professor was also very open about praising students when we did well. But that experience taught me to brace for that kind of situation, even though it’s never happened to me yet.
That’s one thing that you don’t really get prepared for in school. I even see it today with new hires that are coming from prestigious schools that have gotten A’s there whole life. It takes some of them a while to adjust to receiving feedback… some can’t handle it.